Tennis my Teacher

Today I started my exercise program, getting up & out by 7:00am to go to my local tennis court and do running drills. I placed orange cones in the front, middle and back of the court. I ran to the closest one ran backwards and then ran to the next one further out and repeated until I had completed thiz drill. I stretched somemore between the drills and then ran along the baseline flipping my feet left to right several times. I stretched some more and did a series of stepping on the bench and coming back down. Boy waz that a good one. After 45 minutes I decided to call it a day. It iz better to do a little a lot than alot very little. Theirs something amazing about thiz body that adapts, forgives, communicates and thrives with effortless ease. Even pain iz my friend for it gives me information to pay attention 2. However, health & wholeness iz where my attention primarily iz. I have another tournament in April that I am joyously focused on. I can't really explain why I injoy the whole process of tennis from hitting, doing drills, socializing with others, picking out my outfits but most of all feeling the pulsating energy run through me like a bolt of joylightening. And to see my body change little by little before my eyes iz exciting. I'm not trying to be a size 0 or a size 9 for that matter : } But sensing the aliviness, vitality and feeling myself getting stronger, faster, my flexible and more alive now that's something that can't be bought. I use to think I wazn't disciplined but now I know that's not true. If it rings true, if it feel God good, if I'm in alignment with what I'm doing/being I am inspired to action without fuss. Tennis haz become my master teacher for I am breaking through my self imposed limitations and if I can do it here I can do it in other areas of my life. Life iz God Good~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Appreciating Thiz Now Moment

Today I gleefully skipped out into my car and hit the road ready to play tennis after the soul cleansing rain. The air waz cool and crisp and the court clean and full of men playing doubles. Most were familiar faces, older men retired from their jobs but not from life. Getting out of my car I scanned the court seeing where I wanted to sit and wait for a court. My tennis tribe brother Charles rolled up in hiz well trodden truck and we both walked up to wait on a court together. While on the bench Charles talked about the guys playing tennis and how competative they were playing. He accidently said, "they play with so much tension". I said tenison ? and all of a sudden got the giggles. He said, well maybe that's not the right word, but you what I mean. But I couldn't stop giggling. I started thinking about the show Living Color with Jamie Fox character who makes up hoz own world of words that sounds intelligent but have no meaning. It felt good tickling my own funny body I could feel my joy juice overflowing and cascading out the tips of my locks. Soon we were on the court warming up for our doubles match. My body felt slightly slow and sluggish like it usually does for the first 15-20 minutes of warm up but my joy juice made it all okay. We played a couple sets and then everybody parted like the red sea. I stayed and soon waz engaged in another doubles match. My new partner Sun said, he had been in a car accident thiz past new year day. He said, the care he waz in rolled off several times on the freeway and he escaped a little sore but alive and well. I could tell he waz still numbed by the experience yet extremely grateful and appreciative to be here on the tennis court hitting and missing balls like another day at the park. Everyday iz a gift it truly iz and I thank God/Goddess All that IZ for thiz opportunity to love, live, create, dance, play tennis and share thiz magnificant life with the great I AM that lives and breathes in all things~~~~ Take care everybody.

U Owe it to yourself to Love U

People don't owe you their friendship, their love, their time or their involvement in your life, but you owe it to yourself be authentic and be full of the love, joy and creativity that lights up the world with your unmistakeable izness. No need to impress just express who you are and in doing that you will find (although they were never lost) friendship, joy and quality time with those loving beings who appreciate the izness of U~~~~

Changes

All uz cats (I'm a Tiger Chinese astrological sign) have been inperiencing major shifts dealing with digestion issues. On Thankgiving day my craving for chocolate cookies that I eaten religiously for 2 years every night just dropped away. Itz funny how one habit holds up others habits around it. My metabolism waz overworked with cookies, chips and other overeating tendencies. Yes, I ate my emotions usually late at night. When I stopped eating chocolate cookies my tastes for other snack foods faded away. I ate vegan apple pie for a bit, but something waz different yes it taste good 4 sure but my stomach tossed and turned and tossed and turned. My body waz changing and I couldn't go back to old habits and behaviors. Around the same time my babies Neo and Trinity started hacking and throwing up everywhere. I dewormed them which helped but the high quality kitten food waz been rejected by their little bodies. And then like a chain my older cats started hacking and throwing up I waz beside myself trying to figure out what to do next. Thankfully hairball remedy worked for Peanut, but not the others. So today I asked spirit please guide me what am I to do. Well I stopped at wholefoods to pick up some items before heading over to Pet Center to try another brand of high quality kitten food, but I had a feeling that they needed raw meat instead of another bag of cat food. So today I gave Neo and Trinity fresh raw fish and they ate it up quick. Tiger iz out of sorts but I know all my babies are going to be okay. They say our animals many times mirror our own changes in various ways. I guess we are all detoxifying and changing no more of the same old program. I am welcoming thiz new consciousness that iz bursting through like a caterpillar changing into a Butterfly. I digest the good of life and I fully embrace more love, more joy and more creativity in every area of my life. God iz good : }

Life a To-Do List?

In the past my life seemed like a big to-do list. Their waz always somewhere to go, someone to meet, something to do and somebody to become. Somehow just being alive, awake and aware to injoy life wazn't enough. But thankfully I'm relaxing more into life and surrendering to each and every moment az it shows up. When I do thiz I have boundless energy to Be, Do or Have anything I first welcome in conscious.

Yet sometimes thoughts of thiz other more for filled life plagues me mostly around the issue of discipline. The word discipline I admit haz a negative charge to it like being forced to eat food I don't like for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Thiz iz foreign to my true nature because innately I have boundless energy to be fully engaged in life and whatevers showing up. And being a creative type no day, hour or second is repeatable. So theirs go discipline and sticking to a "self-improvement" plan so I can be more of the more of me. So I make endless promises to myself today is going to be different I'm going to do thiz thing religiously for eternity and beyond so I can become more or the more of me. But I'm a stubborn gal, years of work and being productive have ruined me cuz no amount of pretend guilt can make me do anything that I simply don't want to do. I've become so used to living in alignment with love, joy, creativity and peace its hard to move me to anything that feels less than thiz. Yes, I've tried on various occasions asking myself, don't you want to become more of the more you? Yes, of course I answer but you see each day haz its own rhythm like breathing or like a song that begs to be played in thiz non-repeatable moment. But here's the rub it doesn't haveto be thiz way.

I waz under the false belief that it waz structure vs spontaneity, but now I know different. You see itz not either or itz thiz AND that. And includes all what waz, what iz and what will be. But in the now of thiz moment everything iz fresh, original, new and innovative even if it seems like itz the same old thing. Collaging by myself or with other iz like thiz, art like life iz open for new & ever unfolding possibilities, itz IZNESS blankets my whole inperience. So I guess

whether I'm in the sweet art of being AND the sweet art of doing its ALL good. The more I follow the path of blizz the more discipline morphs into blissipline. And right now I'll live az a drop of water that pops up into the air only to merge back into the deep, deep sea of nothingness only to be continued again and again.

Grateful

Last week we had potluck at Free Arts for Abused Kids to celebrate the Christmas holiday. Az I look forward to the new year and look back on what haz transpired their iz alot to be grateful for.

I'm most grateful that I've had the courage to wait, listen and act when inspired. It's easy to rush through life thinking that time iz my enemy. But time iz not my enemy its just a man made construction that we used to fit infinity in which of course can never be done. Thiz year I'm ending my marriage of 12 years which iz a major shift. I've learned and unlearned many things mostly about self-love and how to nurture, accept and celebrate my inner child. It haz been extremely liberating to slowly but surely come to the realization that my happiness or unhappiness iz my total responsibility and mines alone. No person or thing can do it for me itz a inside job. So now I love myself and him enough to say goodbye its been a incredible journey but itz time for me to move on.

I'm also grateful for all the wonderful new friends collaging at the senior citizens center and with Free Art for Abused kids. At first I collaged to heal myself of my negative thought patterns. Collaging sent me on a hunt for pictures and words that felt good when I artistically glued them on a sheet of paper. Collaging haz been the easiest, quickiest way for me to get into a good feeling tone moving from sadness to joy in mere seconds of working on a project. Through my creative expression I poured out my heart and tapped into the love that waz their all the time. Also sharing what I love with others and seeing the joy in their eyes az they create their one of a kind masterpieces warms my heart and soul. I am so appreciative that I get to assist others on focusing on what brings them joy.

May we all create a masterpiece of a life~

When in doubt........

When in doubt laugh, cry, dance, sing, write, collage, make love or sit in silence. In the pure positive space of joy, peace and love all your doubts will fade away.