What a Life

The good thing about getting older iz that theirs a comfort in my soul that transcends my ever changing, ever fluctuating but always unpredictable predictable life. When I waz younger the should's, could's and would's led my life. I did or did not do things based upon whether it fit into my self described role or position I had in my mind. Spiritual people don't get angry, cry or feel their feelings deeply and most of all they don't get a choice or preference. They always see the bigger picture so they have to give and be or service to other "less" unfortunate whether they want to or not. Boy did I have a big ego, to think that I could control others by me being a unauthentic version of myself. My heart waz in the right place though and that led me further to inperiece and experience life's ups and downs so that I might unlearn some nasty habits & outdated thought forms that I picked up along my human incarnation. In my late thirties that's when a big shift started happening. I started saying no or yes more when I really meant it not because it waz the "right" thing to do. I knew I had come a long way when a co-worker who would ask me for favors alot because she the former me would override my inner voice said, to me one day, "Nejah your not az nice az you used to be". A standing ovation of bravos went off in my mind like I had just gave the most heart wrenching performance of my life. For I knew for her"nice" and "fool" were exchangeable. Of course I'm still learning & unlearning more and more. Their a lightness of being that's walking with me everyday not to be crowded under a overstuffed to do list. Theirs space to listen to the birds, play with my cats, do good or bad art, collage with my wise seniors and funny kids, play tennis, take hikes, shop, take classes of interest, write, cry, laugh and most importantly align my thoughts, words and actions with Source/inner SELF. Getting older iz a blessing & theirs no denying it my Life iz getting better and better~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~